Tapas

Prodigies

School girl cliché that I was, my fancied life wasn’t that impossible to live up to…or rather seems so now after being over it…

Compared with everything else around, anything a bit special and off you go…mushy

Many things gave me ideas about who I was where in truth I was nothing much, not yet…not even later…bleh I could write my IDEAS…yeah I had ideas to share!!

The same feeling of lonesomeness comes along every time I see people from the past…those presumably heroes, those I could have been given the right circumstances, living the right lives…instead of the confusing mundane one I ended up in…those I should look at their faces and think yes you are as fabulous as I should have been hence sorry I don’t reckon this even a tiny bit…

Most of the time I look at them and feel like giving myself a long pat on the shoulder, for what I have avoided so far to become hasn’t appealed me even after this long, but then probably those people likewise wouldn’t need anyone like me to envy them, they think they can do much better than me!!

While at it…how awkward is to hit onto your one time love after years?

Something in human nature always loves to see them screw up! But the creepiest is seeing them and couldn’t tell how they used to be or couldn’t tell how yourself used to be or worse still how it used to be being together…with knowing the worst of all is yet to come!!

I have cloned myself into a revised genetic signature of a failed heroine in eyes of many and when my dad asked me with typical concern about why am I taking those pills assuming they should either be antidepressants or the pill or me hiding my morbid disease from them…I came up with no better answer than: to relieve my menstrual pain……and he came up with no better reaction than striding away!

posted by Avideh at 10:04 AM